A year and a half ago my entire life changed. I became a dad. It’s the best thing that has ever happened in my life, and I couldn’t be happier. But being a dad really takes a lot of time and work, and that leaves little room for things that I used to spend all my time doing, seeing movies, watching TV, reading comics, playing video games, and digging through the internet for new music. With all of that in mind, I’m going to have to my end of year list a little different than the past. This year, each category gets one winner and no runner ups. I’m also so out of the loop that I won’t bother saying what is the best, just my favorites. All set? Ready? Let’s go!
As a host of a movie podcast, you watch a lot of movies. Bare minimum you’re looking at 52 movies for a year, but that’s saying you only watch them for the episodes you’re prepping for, and that’s just dumb. This year I watched a grand total of 225 movies. I count them as watches after I’ve sat thorough at least half the movie, although that only came in to play a few times, particularly at Christmas while flipping through movies on TV. Throughout the whole year, I only quit one movie, that is the lowest that number has ever been for me.
So! Without any further ado… My 2017 in movies, with some short reviews thrown in for fun.
WHAT I WATCHED:
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – (technically the movie started playing in 2016, but I count it because when I walked out it was 2017)
Swiss Army Man
Clerks – First time I had watched this in about 5 years, it surprisingly holds up.
Batman V Superman – The first, but not the last time I will watch this in 2017.
Hell or High Water
Resident Evil 2
Resident Evil 3
Underworld Blood Wars
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil 5
Final Fantasy Kingsglave
Silence – After the last 6 movies I watched, this was the greatest thing I had ever seen.
Resident Evil 6 – This is the most lackluster ending to a franchise ever…
50 Shades of Gray – This sucked.
The Mighty Ducks
D2 The Mighty Ducks
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
When Harry Met Sally
Lost in Space
Sing Street – Still the best movie of 2016.
John Wick Chapter 2 – Totally forgot this was a movie.
The Lego Batman Movie
Suicide Squad – Don’t remember what compelled me to watch this again, but I know I liked it way move on this viewing, I know it’s crap, but it’s fun crap.
Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog – Is this a movie? It’s better than most…
Some Like It Hot
Newsies (live) – Saw it in a movie theater, I’m counting it.
The Legend of Tarzan – God I hope I never see this again.
The Legend of Tarzan (again) – Fuck…
Friday the 13th Part 6 : Jason Lives – Better than Tarzan
A Cure for Wellness – Why did we all forget about this movie? It was pretty good!
The Italian Job
Knock knock – Terrible… Better than Tarzan… okay I’ll stop hating on Tarzan.
Get Out – Best of the year? Maybe…
—Tried to watch “Sisters” – got way too bored and turned it off
Little Nicky – I paid actual money to rent this. Still don’t know why.
Beauty and the Beast (1991) – If they make a live action movie of this, it will suck.
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers : The Movie
Kong Skull Island – That was awesome! I will go home and force my wife to watch the Peter Jackson one RIGHT NOW!
Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle – How does Jack Black steal a movie from The Rock and Kevin Hart?? I don’t know, but he sure did!
The Mighty Ducks – A fitting way to end the year. Just like this movie I’m young scrappy and hungry!.. For 2018 movies? This joke failed… Also I saw Hamilton.
What did I learn from this? I like a lot of bad movies, and that’s okay! As the year went on I started to get discouraged about weather or not I’d even share this very embarrassing list, but I think that misses the point of why I did it. What I learned from this is that I love movies. Period. The good and the bad, it is still my favorite way to experience a story. Even the worst of the worst have something in them that is enjoyable. I look forward to how my list looks from 2018, I doubt I’ll have the time to watch 200+ movies again, but it’s worth a shot!
TOP 10 OF 2017 RELEASES:
Shape of Water
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri
Batman and Bill
The Disaster Artist
The Big Sick
HONORABLE MENTION: POWER RANGERS!!
BOTTOM 5 OF 2017
Ingrid Goes West
Despicable Me 3
Baywatch – still liked it… but man its just terrible.
HORRIBLE MENTION: THE GREATEST SHOWMAN
Would be in the top five, but its rare to get a musical with actual singers and dancers in it.