A few weeks back I saw the wonderful film Lady Bird with my wife and a friend.
All three of us were totally swept up by the performances, the script, the directing, and more than anything, the incredibly well told and convincing story. As the lights came up, the audience started to stir and grab their coats (an action I find pointless in LA, you don’t need coats here ya bunch of wussies) and the conversation I overheard boggled my mind. The room wasn’t even fully lit and the man in front of me started saying, “That was good, but doesn’t hold a candle to Three Billboards… yadda yadda yadda.” I’ve overheard this conversation many times but this was the first time it really stuck out to me. Mostly because the movie we just saw addresses this very instinct to react to something the moment you’ve experienced it. In the very beginning of the film Lady Bird and her mom are listening to an audio book, and when it ends Lady Bird goes to turn on the radio. Her mom stops her and asks, “Can we just sit with what we’ve heard for a moment?” I rolled my eyes and laughed with the audience, but I think there may be something to that.
As a host of a movie podcast, you watch a lot of movies. Bare minimum you’re looking at 52 movies for a year, but that’s saying you only watch them for the episodes you’re prepping for, and that’s just dumb. This year I watched a grand total of 225 movies. I count them as watches after I’ve sat thorough at least half the movie, although that only came in to play a few times, particularly at Christmas while flipping through movies on TV. Throughout the whole year, I only quit one movie, that is the lowest that number has ever been for me.
So! Without any further ado… My 2017 in movies, with some short reviews thrown in for fun.
WHAT I WATCHED:
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – (technically the movie started playing in 2016, but I count it because when I walked out it was 2017)
Swiss Army Man
Clerks – First time I had watched this in about 5 years, it surprisingly holds up.
Batman V Superman – The first, but not the last time I will watch this in 2017.
Hell or High Water
Resident Evil 2
Resident Evil 3
Underworld Blood Wars
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil 5
Final Fantasy Kingsglave
Silence – After the last 6 movies I watched, this was the greatest thing I had ever seen.
Resident Evil 6 – This is the most lackluster ending to a franchise ever…
50 Shades of Gray – This sucked.
The Mighty Ducks
D2 The Mighty Ducks
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
When Harry Met Sally
Lost in Space
Sing Street – Still the best movie of 2016.
John Wick Chapter 2 – Totally forgot this was a movie.
The Lego Batman Movie
Suicide Squad – Don’t remember what compelled me to watch this again, but I know I liked it way move on this viewing, I know it’s crap, but it’s fun crap.
Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog – Is this a movie? It’s better than most…
Some Like It Hot
Newsies (live) – Saw it in a movie theater, I’m counting it.
The Legend of Tarzan – God I hope I never see this again.
The Legend of Tarzan (again) – Fuck…
Friday the 13th Part 6 : Jason Lives – Better than Tarzan
A Cure for Wellness – Why did we all forget about this movie? It was pretty good!
The Italian Job
Knock knock – Terrible… Better than Tarzan… okay I’ll stop hating on Tarzan.
Get Out – Best of the year? Maybe…
—Tried to watch “Sisters” – got way too bored and turned it off
Little Nicky – I paid actual money to rent this. Still don’t know why.
Beauty and the Beast (1991) – If they make a live action movie of this, it will suck.
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers : The Movie
Kong Skull Island – That was awesome! I will go home and force my wife to watch the Peter Jackson one RIGHT NOW!
Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle – How does Jack Black steal a movie from The Rock and Kevin Hart?? I don’t know, but he sure did!
The Mighty Ducks – A fitting way to end the year. Just like this movie I’m young scrappy and hungry!.. For 2018 movies? This joke failed… Also I saw Hamilton.
What did I learn from this? I like a lot of bad movies, and that’s okay! As the year went on I started to get discouraged about weather or not I’d even share this very embarrassing list, but I think that misses the point of why I did it. What I learned from this is that I love movies. Period. The good and the bad, it is still my favorite way to experience a story. Even the worst of the worst have something in them that is enjoyable. I look forward to how my list looks from 2018, I doubt I’ll have the time to watch 200+ movies again, but it’s worth a shot!
TOP 10 OF 2017 RELEASES:
Shape of Water
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri
Batman and Bill
The Disaster Artist
The Big Sick
HONORABLE MENTION: POWER RANGERS!!
BOTTOM 5 OF 2017
Ingrid Goes West
Despicable Me 3
Baywatch – still liked it… but man its just terrible.
HORRIBLE MENTION: THE GREATEST SHOWMAN
Would be in the top five, but its rare to get a musical with actual singers and dancers in it.
I LOVED Kingsman, it was a refreshing take on both spy and comic book movies in a world where we have way too many spy and comic book movies. But woof… that ending. We get it, anal sex is funny, but I really didn’t need to see some one’s actual ass hole to get the joke. So I’d my hopes were cautiously high the sequel.
And well… shit.
The parts of Golden Circle that work, work so well. Its funny, its shot well, and I really feel like they started to understand the comedy of the world they are living in. But what the fuck? All of that good stuff is ruined by an insane lack of Channing Tatum, a false promise of Halle Berry being a bad ass, AND A FUCKING CGI PENETRATING SHOT OF A WOMAN’S VAGINA AS A DUDE FINGER BANGS HER? REALLY? You ruined your whole movie by making us feel SO uncomfortable that it’s hard to ever get back into it. Whatever I may think of 90% of the movie, I can’t unsee this shot. It’s not funny or clever. It certainly doesn’t serve the plot of the movie (and I see a lot dudes defending it online… calm down dudes, you’re wrong) If for some reason it was essential to have Eggsy finger bang that girl, it could have been handled better than depicting a 15-year-old’s pervy wet dream. I hate to say that these things added together ruined the whole movie, but they kinda did.
That doesn’t even mention how poorly underused Julianne Moore’s excellent villain Poppy was. Why couldn’t she fight? Everyone else is fighting in formal wear, why not her. AND if she can’t fight why do people care who she is? Why is she in power??? She played a character I was excited to see in action. She had this sickening sweet attitude, like if cotton candy could be a person. It made her scary in a way I didn’t expect. So when the final show down started I was pumped… then she gets smacked, given a heroin overdose, and dies… That is a wet fart of a character exit. If this was the only problem I probably wouldn’t have had much to say… but this on top of everything else just left the taste of dirty dish water in my mouth (yes I know what that tastes like, college was weird).
***SPOILERS ARE DONE NOW***
All in all I’m just disappointed. I’m disappointed in a franchise I thought I wanted more of. I’m disappointed in a director I have so much respect for. And I’m disappointed that this shit is still in movies today.
When it works it works and it’s a blast, but the bad severely out weighs the good. If I had to score it… 4/10
Batman is a contender, and I have a soft spot for Aquaman, but the Green Lantern is my fave. Here are my top ten green lantern characters of all time.
I’ll start with a disclaimer, I’m not an expert on Green Lantern. I’m a fan, have been for a long time. But when it comes to the nitty gritty stuff, I may not be the best source. Now that that’s out of the way, I want to tell you why the Green Lantern(s) is/are amazing, and why I love him/them so much!
When people ask me who my favorite comic book character is, I alway pause. Part of me wants to say Batman, he’s a clear winner for many people. Then I want to say Superman, Wonder Woman, I have a real soft spot for Aquaman… But when push comes to shove Green Lantern gets my vote every time. This vote, is a total cheat I know… there are many Green Lanterns and I love them all. So as a way to celebrate this fact, here we go! A countdown of my favorite Green Lantern characters!!
ALL OF US HERE AT AFTER THE HYPE LOVE STAR WARS, BECAUSE… WELL… IT’S STAR WARS!
In honor of Star Wars Day (May 4th) we will be releasing one “Hype to Remember” a day to cover all 8 of the released Star Wars films! I’m back again to talk about the beginning of the dark days…
Let me take you back… a long, long time ago… When Phantom Menace could still be good…
The year, 1998, the movie, Meet Joe Black. The first trailer for a Star Wars film in about 15 years has just hit theaters! (remember when the internet sucked?) People across the country bought tickets for a movie they didn’t want to see, sorry Joe, just to see 2 min of Star Wars Episode 1 The Phantom Menace! This 2 min!
ALL OF US HERE AT AFTER THE HYPE LOVE STAR WARS, BECAUSE… WELL… IT’S STAR WARS!
In honor of Star Wars Day (May 4th) we will be releasing one “Hype to Remember” a day to cover all 8 of the released Star Wars films! I’m RETURNing today because OF THE JEDI!
Three years isn’t the longest you’ve ever had to wait for a sequel. But when the last movie you saw was Empire Strikes Back, that 3 years might as well be 300. People were losing thier minds! Who is the other? Is Vader really Luke’s dad? WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HAN??? Then boom! Revenge of the Jedi trailer is released and, well… at least one of the questions is answered:
All of us here at After The Hype love Star Wars, because… well… it’s STAR WARS!
In honor of Star Wars Day (May 4th) we will be releasing one “Hype to Remember” a day to cover all 8 of the released Star Wars films! I’ll kick things off with STAR WARS: EPISODE IV – A NEW HOPE!
Star Wars is so much more than a movie. It’s a way of life. I have no idea when the first time I saw Star Wars was, it’s always just been a part of me. I wish I was around to see this trailer in theaters for the first time. It’s such a joy to watch.
Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977)
They have no idea how to market this movie! Is it a fantasy? An action movie? They just keep telling us how great it is, then throwing in a random clip. Clearly they didn’t have James Earl Jones voice track in yet. They didn’t have colors on the light sabers. The whole thing looks like a cheap 70’s sci-fi flop. But still, somehow, looks totally amazing! This trailer had a tough job to do, and it does it perfectly! I can only imagine seeing this once, maybe, then seeing the finished product in theaters! My mind would have been blown!
I love this trailer, it’s the perfect set up to the perfect movie!
If I could only play one game series for the rest of my life, that series would be Mass Effect.
I’ve been playing a ton of Mass Effect Andromeda, and I can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t Mass Effect. Yes the characters designs are there, they say the right words, and it all looks very Mass Effecty. But it just doesn’t capture that feeling that the original trilogy did. This has to be partly on me right? Maybe I’m not giving this game the a fair shake. But I just don’t feel that excitement I had when ME3 was coming out. Son of Krogan I was excited for that game!
There is a solid argument to be made that the Fast and Furious trailer from the 2009 film is one of the greatest teaser trailers of all time.
We here at After the Hype are unashamed FF fans. Well, 3 out of 4 of us are — looking at you Ryan! But I’d argue that without this teaser, there would be no franchise for us to be fans of.
I was living in Chicago in a lovely little apartment when this came out.
I had just gotten into this new band, Does It Offend You Yeah? Then I saw online that they had their music featured in the new Fast and Furious trailer so I decided to give it a shot. Up to that point, I had enjoyed the first, laughed at the second, and like the rest of the world, skipped the third… But the band is cool, so let’s give it a whirl…
W. T. FUCK?
I’m so ready to watch that movie!! I ran to my room mates room (Friend and guest of the show Graham) and made him watch it with me. We both agreed, whatever they were smoking when they made Tokyo Drifting to Sleep, they were done with. I couldn’t have been more pumped.
Now I’m going to watch it again, and beat-by-beat tell you what I’m feeling, as if it were the first time.
Since movies began filmmakers have been trying to scare the pants off us.
First with a train, then with a gun pointed directly at the camera, and later with a young man or woman pitted against a larger than life monster. As these movies play out, people die, people fall in love, then die, and a hero arises, and maybe dies. With main characters dropping left and right, producers quickly realized, people are coming more for the bad guy than the good and then… Great horror icons are born!
Through the years we’ve seen many villains come and go, yet, only a select few never fade away. One in particular has steadily walked his way into nearly all forms of mass media. After twelve movies, twenty some books, a TV series, countless comic book appearances, and one hugely anticipated video game, Jason Voorhees has sliced and diced his way into the hearts of millions of fans. No matter how many different places Jason slaughters those pesky teenagers, movies are where he shines brightest. Not all are masterpieces, one or two might be horrible, but they all have something special, something new to offer. So I present to you, my ranking of the Friday the 13th franchise.