Bryan’s MCU Review

UPDATED FOR ENDGAME!

!!!SPOILERS AHEAD, SO BE CAREFUL!!!

I love comic book movies.

I love them all, bad, good, and all the ones in between.  But, no matter how much I love them, I’m totally willing to criticize the hell out of them.  In my opinion, the best superhero film of all time is hands down, Superman 1978. Even with that ridiculous ending.  Every movie from there on out is just chasing their coattails. One franchise out there has been doing a pretty damn good job chasing.  Not all have been fantastic, none have been terrible, and I can proudly say I’ve seen, own, each and every one of them. I’m of course talking about the Marvel Cinematic Universe!

Like many of the boys and girls out there, I’m super excited for the upcoming Infinity Wars, and watched all the movies, all over again, to prepare.  As I watched, I found I enjoyed some more than I remembered, some less, and one that I was convinced was a great film but realized I was wrong. So here we go!  My review of each and every MCU movie released so far!

A warning before I dive in, for those of you who don’t listen to our show, I’m way more of a DC guy than Marvel.  If my opinions seem way off base and piss you off, just remember, I’m a crazy person who enjoys all the DC movies.  Though I really do love these movies and I’m excited for Infinity Wars this weekend.


IRON MAN

As I stated in a previous article, I’m against ranking films.  But if I had to… Iron Man would be damn close to the top. That said, It took me a while to get to this opinion.  When I heard the first of the Marvel movies they would be making as an official Marvel release would be Iron Man, there was skepticism to say the least.  I was already pretty deep in superhero fatigue and weary of all the origin stories. The idea of starting all over again seemed like a slog. I didn’t even see it for about three weeks after release.  Worst yet, when I saw it… I thought it was okay? It was another origin story, with a bland villain, a climax I had just seen the summer before in Transformers, but this time it was at night! Wow.

Once my college roommate bought it on DVD I really started to get into it.  Slowly, Robert Downey Jr. became the Tony Stark I wanted for the rest of time. It had a sense of humor I totally overlooked. Most importantly, it felt real. Not real in a comic book way, or in any way that any comic book movie had to date. And that made me excited. Every other comic book movie I had ever seen created a world that I wanted to jump into and exist in.  Marvel kicked open the door from that other world into ours and boldly crossed the threshold. This world had our problems and was a world where superheroes were real. The rest of the movie is irrelevant compared to this.

Best Scene:

“I am Iron Man.”

Best Line:

“I am Iron Man.”

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

Terrance Howard isn’t Don Cheadle.

Rating:

A big ass arc reactor.


THE INCREDIBLE HULK


My two favorite Marvel characters (pre MCU days) were Spiderman and The Hulk.  We’ll get to Spiderman later, you might not like it though… First, it’s time for The Hulk.  I hinted at this in my opening. This movie just doesn’t really work. I remember loving it though and I’ll explain that first before I HULK SMASH it into the ground.

First, the fact that they tried to pay homage to the TV show, letting Lou Ferrigno voice my big green buddy is totally awesome and I love it.  My favorite version of the hulk is the pure unfiltered rage monster. You point him at the thing you want smashed, and hope for the best. Like a cannon filled with smaller cannons, sometimes you might get lucky, but most of the time you end up with a bunch of shrapnel in your yard and no one knows why you fired the damn thing in the first place.  This movie totally gets it and does it better than I ever thought possible. The final showdown of Hulk versus The Abomination was something I had been dreaming of my whole life and it was/is one of my favorite action sequences in the MCU.
https://giphy.com/gifs/hulk-smash-1YCkPIQ8sCwNi

Literally, everything else in the movie fails. I don’t care about Liv Tyler’s character, she and Eddy Nornor had zero chemistry.  The general poses no threat beyond, uhh… throw more tanks at him? And then they teased The Leader? Really??? That’s a little bold, even for Marvel.

The whole movie centers on the one thing Hulk fans have to wrestle with, Bruce Banner doesn’t want his powers.  This leaves the audience at odds with the main character at all times. Not a bad thing necessarily, see any werewolf movie.  But this is friggin Hulk! We know he won’t reverse his powers, because then there is no Hulk!! So drop that damn plotline and get to him learning to control his rage.  With ten minutes of screen time in the Avengers, we got a better Hulk movie than the entirety of The Incredible Hulk. I will still happily rewatch this movie, and love it for what it is, but compared to the rest of the MCU, it’s just shy of the worst thing they’ve made.  See next film…

Best Scene:

HULK VS THE ABOMINATION!!! (seriously if they had marketed this movie like a boxing match it would have been awesome)

Best Line:

“HULK SMASH!!!”

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

Everything that isn’t the final fight.

Rating:

A gamma radiated soda.


IRON MAN 2


I blame Marvel for everything wrong in this movie. Somewhere in here is the bones of a great follow up to Iron Man. But it got dragged down into the mud so it could be a better preamble to The Avengers. I totally get why they had to do that, but it means that we have this one bland, nearly skippable, snore of a movie. Instead of complaining about all it does wrong, I just give a short list of what it does right.

What it does right:

  • Black Widow was great, and I love her relationship with RDJ from this movie on.
  • Don Cheadle isn’t Terrance Howard in this movie.
  • Sam Rockwell, as Justin Hammer, effing brilliant.
  • The raceway action sequence is pretty cool.

Best Scene:

Raceway action sequence.

Best Line:

“Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to exit the donut.”

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

Why is Sam Rockwell only in the one movie? Marvel, you had a good one there!!!

Rating:

A Burger King cheese burger.


THOR

I was not a huge fan of Thor going in.  In fact, I waited for it to hit the cheap seats before even seeing it in theaters.   But after this movie, he rose to be one of my all-time favorite Marvel characters, both in the MCU and in the books.  The Thor movies, in my opinion, have the best casting all around. Chris Hemsworth is perfect as Thor, Tom Hiddleston has made it impossible for any other villain to fill his shoes, and Idris Elba playing Heimdall, awesome!   

The thing I love most about this movie is how they made an origin story while totally avoiding the common pitfalls. Thor is fully powered (or so we thought, cough Ragnarok cough) at the beginning of the film. His journey isn’t about obtaining powers, its about earning them.  That is a story I can get behind in a big way. I can forgive the obvious lack of chemistry between him and Natalie Portman, she still plays a pretty solid Jane Foster.

The story plays out on a much smaller, more personal, scale and I love that. The drama of Loki being a frost giant, what that means to him and his legacy is a real emotional pull.  Adding weight to the character which is, unfortunately, never explored again. Lastly this film had the huge task of taking the MCU fans into space, and if it had been a fumbled attempt, who knows where we would be today. All around, one of my favorites during my rewatch binge.

Best Scene:

Thor flying through the mouth of that weird snow monster thing.

Best Line:

Pet Store Clerk: We don’t have horses. Just dogs, cats, birds…
Thor: Then give me one of those large enough to ride.

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

This movie made me like Kat Dennings, and she makes, like, nothing else I want to watch.

Rating:

Another cup of coffee.


CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER

I’ve talked to a lot of people who, for some reason, really don’t like this movie.  There are a lot of complaints that all the good Cap action is in montages, that the pacing is too slow and boring.  But when I watch this movie all I see is an adventure film of the highest caliber. My only complaint is that it came out so late, man I wish this could be the start of the whole MCU.  It is such a good intro to everything in the entirety of the MCU. And the side characters! We get Bucky Barnes, Peggy Carter, Howard Stark, and Stanley Tucci as the mad doctor who started it all.  Beyond the Tucc man, all these characters are major players in the MCU, in one way or another. Forgetting all that, the movie is just fun. Fun in a way that only Joe Johnston can pull off. I totally understand that Marvel wanted to take Cap in a different direction after this movie, but I’m so glad that they started here.

The best part is of course, Chris Evans.  Much like RDJ with Tony Stark, if this casting didn’t work you don’t have a franchise.  They had a mountain of a task with Captain America and his personality. He is essentially a boy scout who honors what is right over anything else.  Solidified with the line, “Whatever happens, stay who you are, not just a soldier, but a good man.”

Chris brings his charisma to the character in way that I didn’t expect.  If you’ve ever seen him interviewed, he is much closer to his Jonny Storm performance, than his Steve Rogers.  That really shows how great of an actor he can be. He has flirted with retiring from acting a few times and I really hope that never happens.  This movie alone shows how great he can really be.

Best Line:

“What ever happens, stay who you are, not just a soldier, but a good man.”

Best Scene:

The montage of Captain working the USO shows.

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

Never getting to see the Peggy and Steve relationship.

Rating:

Not taking a rain check on a dance.


AVENGERS

Watching The Avengers in theaters for us nerds was like watching the moon landing… Well maybe not that important, but close!  All you are thinking is, “Holy shit, they pulled it off!” The characters all fit perfectly into the world, Loki is a legit threat, and it never feels over stuffed or bloated.  How did this happen??? Well it happened through a huge labor of love from Joss Whedon, Kevin Feige and about a bazillion other people. I wish I could hop in a time machine, go back in time and see it for the first time all over again.   There are problems to be sure and it doesn’t quite hold up to the other movies in the franchise like we all like to think it does. But it’s a blast. The moments when all our heroes are on screen together is a thing of pure joy. It made me wish we could see a TV show of them kinda hanging out, shooting the shit.  Because it was never more clear how good Marvel was at casting till we saw them all in the same room, complaining about Thor’s adopted brother.

The odd thing about this movie is it’s where many people got off the bus.  I’m still not really sure why though? Part of me thinks they might have seen this as a logical ending to the superhero movie world, I mean how do you top this?  Maybe the thought process is, “If this is the best the Marvel films can do, it’s not my thing”? I don’t get it. People are weird.

Best Line:

“Avengers Assemble!!!” (eff you they said it in my head)

Best Scene:

Everyone on the helicarrier just talking.

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

Dawn of the Marvel quippy quips that out quip all the quips that ever quipped.

Rating:

Eating just the right amount of shawarma.


IRON MAN 3

I feel bad about the Iron Man sequels.  They should be the best of the best but for some reason they really only exist to service the MCU as a whole.  The majority of this movie plays out like a drawn out resolution to Tony Stark’s character arc in The Avengers.  Not to mention the mishandling of The Mandarin. But that has all been beaten to death at this point so I want to talk about what I think is the biggest problem with Iron Man 3, there’s barely any Iron Man in it!

Mark Millar wrote an article back in February about why the DC characters don’t work.  He says that by and large this is because they aren’t cinematic. I disagree with his assessment but there may be some merits to it.  The biggest issue is that no matter how interesting Bruce Wayne or Clark Kent might be, they are mere footnotes compared to their superhero alter egos.  Marvel for a long time has done a wonderful job of sharing the time in and out of the super suit. It’s that balance that has me love Peter Parker as much as I love Spiderman.  That’s why this movie doesn’t work for me, the balance is off. It’s the Tony Stark show, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but as a follow up to one of the coolest action movies ever, it’s just disappointing.

Best Line:

“Mother I have to call you back something magical is happening! Tony Stark is in my van!”

Best Scene:

Credit tag, so good.

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

That dumb kid was pretty annoying.

Rating:

A trip to the worm hole.


THOR: THE DARK WORLD

If you don’t get this, look it up!

Earlier I mentioned that I love Thor.  This is probably where you are expecting me to start back peddling… unfortunately I love Thor: The Dark World.  I can see the problems with it just as plainly as all the fanboys who drag it through the mud, but there is just something about the Thor world that I love.  This movie smartly makes use of Asgard as the main setting for the action. It’s great to see Thor on earth swinging his hammer all day, but he belongs in space.  Thor stories are at their best when they are Shakespeare in space… or a Taika Waititi movie.

The one thing that this movie does better than the rest of the MCU, at this point in time, is having actual consequences.  Not as big of ones as I’d like, but there is some real emotional punch in this movie. Thor’s mom dies to save Jane Foster.  A real MCU death unlike movies before it, this came as a total shock. For some reason people seem to forget that this even happened.  Then just to show how good of a director Alan Taylor really can be, he moves from tragedy to comedy from scene to scene, but never in a way that feels forced or out of place.  It may not be the best movie in the MCU, but it’s way better than people give it credit for.

Best Line:

“There’s nothing more reassuring than realizing that the world is crazier than you are.”

Best Scene:

Boarding the tube.

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

Oh great, Kat Dennings is back, oh great she steals every scene she’s in, oh great, she has NOTHING ELSE I WANT TO SEE!!!  Yo Kat Dennings’ agent! Get your shit together and get this woman some quality parts!

Rating:

A date with Chris O’Dowd


CAPTAIN AMERICA THE WINTER SOLIDER

This movie is far and away the best thing (so far) that the MCU has ever given us.  Each time I rewatch it I find more to love. So, much like with Iron Man 2, instead of just praising how nearly perfect a movie can be, I’ll just list a few things it does wrong.

  • The Winter Soldier is the greatest assassin of all time, yet in this movie he kills no one, and fails at killing all three people he was supposed to kill… not much of a threat.
  • I don’t buy that even Nick Fury would be okay with his crazy helicarrier plan.
  • This came out the same weekend as The Raid 2, and when you finish watching The Raid 2, no hand to hand fight scenes will ever look as cool.

Best Line:

“Before we get started, does anyone want to get off?”

Best Scene:

Elevator fight!

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

I wanted to see Falcon steal back his wing suit.

Rating:

Triple kiss with Captain America, Black Widow and YOU!


GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY


I had a friend recommend that I read the comic a while before the movie was announced.  I started with The War of Kings mini series and I was totally hooked. Then I hear that James flarking Gunn is on to direct!  Man there is no way this could go wrong! Then it did. Ugh…

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.

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I’m totally kidding Guardians is fantastic!  A wonderful mix of planet hopping, gun shooting, classic tune rocking, dance fighting entertainment!  There are a few things I’d change here and there. I think Star Lord could have used another take or two on some of the more dramatic scenes, but for the most part this movie does exactly what it sets out to do.  My favorite thing about it is that it’s totally self contained. If you had never seen a Marvel movie before this, you have no problem jumping in and just going for the ride. The cast is great, the action is great, the soundtrack is beyond great.   This movie is great! I think the word great has lost all meaning now….

I only wish that they had used Thanos a bit more.  It was fantastic to see him, and he was definitely… well he was… huh, he was just purple guy in a chair wasn’t he?  If Marvel was dead set on introducing him, I just wish he had a more impactful presence in the movie.

Best Line:

“I am Groot.”

Best Scene:

I honestly like the court yard chase over the infinity stone on Xandar the most.

Biggest Gripe that isn’t the Villain:

Someone say Flark, just once! Please!

Rating:

A really good mix tape.


AVENGERS AGE OF ULTRON

This is an odd little film isn’t it?   A stand alone sequel that ignores the four movies that came before it, that introduces a world killer machine, a few way over powered avengers, and tries to set up the entirety of phase 3?  That’s a whole shit load for a movie to try to do. However I think they pulled it off, for the most part. The movie is far from perfect, and this may sound weird, but I don’t think it was trying to be?  In the The Marvel Comics world, summer events really exist to pay off a few story lines that are set up in the spring, get your favorite characters together to see how funny they are when they share panels, and get you ready for the fall line of books.  That’s exactly what this movie does. Even though I never love the big summer events, I still read them because they are fun and let you know where the world stands. That may be a little low to aim, specifically for one of the most anticipated sequels of all time, but, honestly, who cares?  Did you have fun watching the Hulk vs. the Hulk Buster? Me too. Shut up and eat your popcorn.

The major issue for me with the movie was this was the first time I really felt the absence of The Fantastic Four and the X-Men.  The movie builds up to one of those fights where you want everyone there, suited up and ready to mingle. With the deals in place between Fox, Disney, and Sony though, I feel like we only get to eat a third of the pizza.  I paid for the whole damn thing! If there was a moment where it looked liked the Avengers were going to lose, and you hear from off screen, “Hey Bub! Pick on someone your own size.” Cut to Hugh Jackman putting out his cigar on the palm of his hand, I would have pooped myself with joy, then sat in that poop for a whole second screening of the movie…. Sorry, that one was gross.

Best Line:

“Elevator’s not worthy.”

Best Scene:

Cap vs. Ultron on top of the truck.

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

Quicksliver died too soon for the MCU.  Sorry Hawkeye, it was your time…


Rating:

Getting all the free comics on Free Comic Book Day


ANT-MAN

I’m not actually writing a review here. It’s just these few sentences written over and over again in super tiny font. But if you were super curious and blew it up I guess I owe you something don’t I? I really like Ant-Man it’s the best middle of the pack Marvel movie and I’m super excited for the sequel. Also Michael Pena is amazing. I’m not actually writing a review here. It’s just these few sentences written over and over again in super tiny font. But if you were super curious and blew it up I guess I owe you something don’t I? I really like Ant-Man it’s the best middle of the pack Marvel movie and I’m super excited for the sequel. Also Michael Pena is amazing. I’m not actually writing a review here. It’s just these few sentences written over and over again in super tiny font. But if you were super curious and blew it up I guess I owe you something don’t I? I really like Ant-Man it’s the best middle of the pack Marvel movie and I’m super excited for the sequel. Also Michael Pena is amazing.I’m not actually writing a review here. It’s just these few sentences written over and over again in super tiny font. But if you were super curious and blew it up I guess I owe you something don’t I? I really like Ant-Man it’s the best middle of the pack Marvel movie and I’m super excited for the sequel. Also Michael Pena is amazing.I’m not actually writing a review here. It’s just these few sentences written over and over again in super tiny font. But if you were super curious and blew it up I guess I owe you something don’t I? I really like Ant-Man it’s the best middle of the pack Marvel movie and I’m super excited for the sequel. Also Michael Pena is amazing.I’m not actually writing a review here. It’s just these few sentences written over and over again in super tiny font. But if you were super curious and blew it up I guess I owe you something don’t I? I really like Ant-Man it’s the best middle of the pack Marvel movie and I’m super excited for the sequel. Also Michael Pena is amazing.I’m not actually writing a review here. It’s just these few sentences written over and over again in super tiny font. But if you were super curious and blew it up I guess I owe you something don’t I? I really like Ant-Man it’s the best middle of the pack Marvel movie and I’m super excited for the sequel. Also Michael Pena is amazing.I’m not actually writing a review here. It’s just these few sentences written over and over again in super tiny font. But if you were super curious and blew it up I guess I owe you something don’t I? I really like Ant-Man it’s the best middle of the pack Marvel movie and I’m super excited for the sequel. Also Michael Pena is amazing.I’m not actually writing a review here. It’s just these few sentences written over and over again in super tiny font. But if you were super curious and blew it up I guess I owe you something don’t I? I really like Ant-Man it’s the best middle of the pack Marvel movie and I’m super excited for the sequel. Also Michael Pena is amazing.I’m not actually writing a review here. It’s just these few sentences written over and over again in super tiny font. But if you were super curious and blew it up I guess I owe you something don’t I? I really like Ant-Man it’s the best middle of the pack Marvel movie and I’m super excited for the sequel. Also Michael Pena is amazing.I’m not actually writing a review here. It’s just these few sentences written over and over again in super tiny font. But if you were super curious and blew it up I guess I owe you something don’t I? I really like Ant-Man it’s the best middle of the pack Marvel movie and I’m super excited for the sequel. Also Michael Pena is amazing.

Best Line:

“Baskin-Robbins always finds out.”

Best Scene:

The fight in Scott’s daughter’s bed room is exactly what I wanted from this movie.

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

All the annoyed people that just assume Edgar Wright’s movie would’ve been the best thing eVaR? This movie was awesome, chill out dudes.

Rating:

A Mango Fruit Blast!


CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR

Earth’s most popular superheroes don’t see eye to eye and things get heated.   When a bomb goes off at a public hearing all bets are off and it’s time for fisty cuffs.  Later its revealed that there was secretly someone off in the wings pulling the strings the whole time in an effort to get the heroes to just kill each other.  Then surprise, it’s really about the murder of one of the hero’s moms. At the end, relationships they once had are strained and it seems impossible that they will ever work together again.  Fans of the series know that in the next team up movie all will be mended and everything will be fine.

Did I just describe Civil War or Batman v Superman? Sorry guys but I love them both!

Best Line:

“Thinks for thanking of me!”

Best Scene:

Airport fight of course. That might be the best thing ever put to film.

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

I hate the apology letter that Cap sends Tony, it was just one step to far in the way of undoing the whole film we just watched.

Rating:

Having someone look at you the way Steve looks at Bucky. (a tear just fell down my cheek)

Credit to Taking-meds on Deviant Art

DOCTOR STRANGE

Doctor Strange, unfortunately, is the film I think will be forgotten when this whole comic book business is done.  It doesn’t bring anything new to the table. It’s another origin story, with a bland villain, and a disposable girlfriend played by yet another overqualified actress.  But just because it didn’t do anything new, doesn’t mean it was done poorly. They did a great job creating a lived in sorcerer world, which I totally bought was hiding in plain sight the whole time.  I loved Benedict Cumberbatch as Strange. He already basically looked like the guy, so that was lucky, but he also totally personified the character.

A lot of times when you read a marvel comic, the characters don’t quite seem the same as they did in their movie.  Doctor Strange though, is nearly spot on, for the current run anyways. I’m not sure if we will ever see a sequel, or if Strange will even survive the upcoming War, but I really enjoy this movie, and will happily watch it again.

Best Line:

“Dormammu, I’ve come to bargain!”

Best scene:

Astro projection fight!

Biggest gripe that wasn’t the villain:

If you put Rachel McAdams in your movie, giver her something, anything, to do. She is amazing, she can handle it.

Rating:

An eternal loop with Benedict Cumberbatch where he only wants to talk to you.


GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2

As of writing this article, I’m not yet a father.  Give me a few weeks, he is on his way. (update, he’s here now and he’s pretty awesome!) This movie is the new film to watch on Father’s day from here on out.  I love it. The relationship between Yondu and Peter, although coming a bit out of left field, is one of my favorite of the entire MCU.  Capped off perfectly by Yondu making the ultimate sacrifice to save Peter. I’ve watched this so many times I’ve lost count and I still tear up a bit at the end every time.  If that wasn’t bad enough, Drax remembering his family… oh god the tears are coming back right now.

The most interesting thing about this movie is it totally flip flopped what the other movie did so well.  In part one, they nail the humor and action, and kinda sorta fail at the emotions. This one nails the emotions… everything else?  It’s not bad by any means, but it’s really bland. Poor Rocket really gets the short end of the stick in this movie. They hint at some really deep stories with him, and try to get him to have a real arc paired with Yondu.  But since they spend so much time with Planet Plissken they don’t have time to develop those threads and he just seems bitchy.  Since I love these characters I can fill in the blanks and have a great time. There are large exposition dumps that service the plot but it’s really hard to stay entertained by monologues. I’m not a huge fan of Yondu and Rocket murdering the hell out of all the Ravagers. Baby Groot is almost too cute? Almost? But these are minor issues in a very good movie.  It’s just too bad that in the mind of fans it needed to one-up the previous film, not letting it stand on its own merits.

Best line:

“I’m gunna make some weird shit.”

Best scene:

Yondu’s funeral

Biggest gripe that wasn’t the villain:

Don’t you tease me Starhawk and then not make a movie with Starhawk. I will find you.

Rating:

A fully loaded Zune.


SPIDER-MAN HOMECOMING


When you turn 30, something weird happens.  You slowly but surely realize that no one cares about you anymore.  That sounds bleak I know, but in a way it’s really refreshing. I should explain…. I’m not saying your family and friends have abandoned you, or that you are no longer needed at your job.  More so, no one will ever market anything cool to you ever again, until you have kids or retire. Ready to get really excited about 40% off coupons for air purifiers at Target? Welcome to your 30’s.  I bring this up because Spiderman Homecoming is a movie not made for me at all. If I want a Spiderman made for my generation, I still own the Sam Raimi versions. So my opinion is a little skewed, but I’ll do my best.

First and foremost Tom Holland is the best Spiderman to date.  That hurts me so much to say. I love Andrew Garfield and Tobey McGuire, and they may be better actors, but they are just “A class” actors playing a popular comic book character.  Tom Holland IS Peter Parker. He is totally lost in his role and has so much charm and charisma its makes me want to slap him. Marisa Tomei is one of my all time favorite actors and she is clearly having fun as Aunt May.  Then you bring in the power house Michael Keaton? Combine all of that with the amazing supporting cast of Peter’s high school chums, and this movie is a recipe for success like none other. So why do I think it’s only okay?

Spiderman is one of the most proven comic book characters ever.  He is right up there with Batman, Superman and Captain America. He’s one of the characters everyone knew long before the MCU ever started up.  So why the hell did they handcuff the whole movie to Iron Man? It feels almost like they are grooming Peter to be a mini Ironman and that’s just wrong.  Peter as a gadget guy, felt really out of place to me. I guess it worked, but I just didn’t care for that version of Spiderman. On top of that it’s the only time I ever felt that RDJ phoned in a performance.  All in all, it’s a good movie, but I was hoping it would be my all time favorite.

Best line

“What the fu–!”

Best Scene

The Washington Monument action scene.

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

I love Spider-man swinging through New York… would have been cool to see that once.

Rating:

Wearing a suit with training wheels.


THOR RAGNAROK

Ragnarok somehow manages to be both one of my all time favorite comic book movies, and my least favorite sequel of all time. I’ll get the negative out of the way in the beginning. I love Thor 1 &2 and was really looking forward to this movie as a sequel to those films. What we got, mocked them so hard it made me question if I ever should have liked them. That’s where my complaints end, and even with them, I love the hell out of this movie.

I’ve been bringing up the comics a lot through out this whole article but here is where I think it is most important. There is a look to the universe in the Marvel books that we haven’t really seen on full display. Nothing against the look of the Guardians movies, but they were kind of their own thing. This movie looked like it leapt right out of a comic book and splashed onto the screen. From the color schemes to the costumes this is everything I wanted to see in a Thor movie.

We all know that Taiki can do comedy, What We Do in the Shadows is a nearly perfect movie. What I didn’t expect was true emotion. Sadly, it didn’t come from where I wanted it to, the death of Odin. That was sort of fumbled. The moment for me in this movie that works so well, is the moment where Thor confesses that he thought the world of Loki. This moment is honest and brutal, and one of the very few that isn’t punctuated by a joke. The only reason this movie isn’t my number one is Hela is out of the picture for way too long. It makes sense story-wise, but for the Goddess of Death, I think she should have had way more presence throughout the whole film. But hey, at least Jeff Goldblum was there to fill in the blanks. Lastly, the Hulk is perfect.

Best Line

“NO BANNER ONLY HULK” tied with “Yes! That’s how it feels!”

Best Scene

Hulk and Thor throwing tantrums about what it means to be a friend.

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

How is this a better Doctor Strange movie than Doctor Strange? Give Taiki DS2!! Also WHERE THE EFF IS KAT DENNINGS???

Rating:

Taking a nude dip in a hot tub with the Hulk.


BLACK PANTHER

I’ve only seen this movie once back when it came out in February, so I’ll be very brief with my review here.  I loved it, it’s hard not to. I think it killed two too many villains, which was a little disappointing but made sense in the story.  I hate that the whole movie feels so real only to go entirely CGI in the 3rd act.  Also, it would have been nice to love T’Challa as much as I loved everyone else in the movie, but that’s a tall order with Shuri and Nakia owning every scene.  Even with these minor of minor complaints, if I could preorder my tickets for part two right now, I would.

UPDATED

I’ve now had a lot of time with this one and seen it more times than I can count.  A lot of what I felt last year is pretty much the same, only a little stronger now.  I full blown dislike the majority of the third act, story, effects, all of it.  The ending is also a little at odds with the ending of Civil War.  At the end of Civil War, Black Panther stops Zemo from killing himself, but at the end his own film?  Why did one deserver to punch their own ticket and not the other?  The movie is great, truly great, but just not my all-around favorite.  

Best line:

“Wakanda forever!”

Wakanda forever!

Best Scene:

Car chase

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

Could have used another month in post-production oven to finish up the CGI.

Rating:

A set of fine clothes made by the costumers from Black Panther.


AVENGERS INFINITY WAR

This should have easily been a huge failure.  This movie was impossible to pull off.  More characters than have ever been on screen, taking place all over the galaxy, and actually, make sense.  Nope, not gunna happen.  So how the hell did they actually do this?  Everyone here is on their A-Game and the movie is a hell of a ride.  But the only thing that I really have to talk about here is Josh Brolin.  Everyone else has shown their chops over and over, and this is the first time we really get to see him shine.  And boy does he shine, bright and purple… or was that pink?  Seriously though, this villain is what we were all waiting for throughout the entirety of the MCU.   He’s a serious threat, he’s somehow charming, and he can win.  Wasn’t it sort of nice to see the Avengers lose?  Was it just me?

Best line:

“I am Groot!”  “I am Steve Rogers”

Best Scene:

Fight on Titan

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

This movie is really only as good as Endgame can let it be.  If they don’t stick the landing, this movie may not age too well.  From what I’ve heard?  We are going to be fine.

Rating:

An infinity stone, go ahead, pick one.


CAPTIAN MARVEL

Look here, I spent a week writing out my feelings on this kick ass movie.

Read them here.

Best line:

“I have nothing to prove to you.”

Best Scene:

Carol flying into space and kicking the shit out of everyone.

Biggest gripe that isn’t the villain:

Could have spent more time out in the cosmos.

Rating:

A new pet flerken!


After nearly 40 (now closer to 50) hours of movies, I really thought I’d have even more to say. But when it comes down to it, Marvel has a formula that works and they are about to take the biggest victory lap we’ve ever seen. As a diehard DC fanboy, I proudly say that I honestly love these movies and I can’t wait to see what they do next!

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