I generally dislike lists, and I can never seem to keep track of what I’ve watched in a year, but here we are.
2016 was perhaps the worst year in moviegoing for me…because I didn’t really see all that many films. The only reason I can present this dumb list to you is because I HAD to watch films for the podcast in order to talk about them.
Turns out, I watched JUST enough to come up with a (in my opinion) barely passable TOP TEN list. I’m sure a few of the movies listed will surprise you, but a majority of them won’t if you’ve listened to us ramble about movies all year. There’s also a television show on this list in the honorable mentions because – like I said – I’m not a huge fan of lists.
In order to write as little as possible for this post, I’ve resorted to using gifs from one of my favorite films – GALAXY QUEST. Turns out, you can use GALAXY QUEST gifs for pretty much anything in life. That said, let’s get crack-a-lackin’ on my TOP 10 MOVIES IN 2016 THAT THIS SILLY PODCAST MADE ME WATCH!
BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE
I swear to gosh darn heck that the Batman origin story in this film was longer than the entire Nolan Dark Knight Trilogy. All that extra time could have been spent – I don’t know – giving us a proper introduction to this Justice League or giving us a compelling villain, or exploring Superman’s struggle with doing the right thing at all costs, or exploring a Batman that had given up (or turned cruel or whatever). I liked almost nothing about this film.
DOCTOR WHO: SEASON 9
This isn’t a movie (thanks for noticing, you knobs), so it’s kind of a cheat. Get over it. There were great moments, but I couldn’t tell you what any episode was about at this current moment in time. What a spectacularly dull season to a increasingly dull series. I miss Eccleston.
I genuinely don’t know how I feel about this movie. This will take time, but since my post has to come out at SOME POINT, I’ll just put this at the top of the honorable mentions.
And now for the actual list.
THE ACTUAL LIST
As long as the humans weren’t on screen, this film was gorgeous. Plot? I dunno. I’m not versed in any of the lore so none of this made sense to me. I got the Murloc reference. NGRRGLLLL.
This is the film equivalent of a “that’s what she said” joke.
8. THE NIGHT BEFORE
Seth Rogan takes shrooms and chats up a Nativity scene. Michael Shannon is like a drug-dealing Gatsby. Anthony Mackie is legitimately funny. Santas beat up Joseph-Gordon Leavitt. It was certainly entertaining.
7. FURIOUS 7
The Rock drove an ambulance off a bridge, crashed into a drone, and finished it off with a double-tap for good measure. I guess he IS the cavalry.
6. CRIMSON PEAK
Gorgeous film, and spoopy too. Is that what we say now in internet-land? Spoopy?
5. THE HATEFUL EIGHT
This is like a return to Reservoir Dogs for Tarantino. I approve.
4. SING STREET
Such a darling film about talented children. I wish I had been that talented when I was their age. Instead I quit band because I couldn’t use a tenor saxophone properly. What a poor life choice!
The most stressful film I watched this year.
2. THE NICE GUYS
The funniest movie I saw this year.
1. KUBO & THE TWO STRINGS
I love Laika so gosh darn much. This was the best animated film in 2016, just inches ahead of Disney’s MOANA.
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT!
*sigh* I love GALAXY QUEST so much.
I spend too much time on the internet and not enough time fighting dragons. An editor by trade, screenwriter by long-term-goal, and someone who can’t spend a day without making stuff.